I recently worked with a patient on weight loss & realized I should share with the wider world.
PSA: Dieting doesn't work if what you are dealing with is a food addiction. Most addictions work on a shame/control axis. You try for control, fail, feel shame, then self soothe with the object of your addiction. This is true for the majority of addictions: alcohol, sex, perfectionism, anger, depression, relationships and, our topic at hand, food.
If one is born drug addicted or becomes addicted to their prescription opiates post surgery, we are looking at something completely different. As a freind of mine pointed out when I first posted this on my FB page, addiction is a complex phenomenon.
Food addiction is an incredibly difficult & common one, as we interact with food daily for the duration of our lives. Dieting reinforces the control side of things on the control/shame axis. In order to lose weight & keep it off, a completely new relationship needs to be developed with yourself, your body, food & exercise. It is true that some people cannot ever lose the weight due to biology. I am writing this post for the people who can. If the goal remains weight loss, you will never truly be free. If the goal is a new relationship with your body, how much & what you eat WILL NATURALLY SHIFT from a SUSTAINABLE place.
Start with having fun with your body. Go for a walk, a hike, dance wherever you're comfortable, take a class if that feels ok. Then take a good look at what the root of this shame is. Find a good therapist who is familiar with helping people work through shame. Come up with new coping skills surrounding the experience of shame. As you peel back the emotional onion, you will find a bunch of other feelings under there that the shame was keeping you from feeling. Meanwhile, work on building up a sense of self worth. This involves watching the world & watching the ways in which everyone is responsible for their own actions, including whoever it was that harmed you & brought on all this shame to begin with. You weren't responsible & you definitely couldn't control their bahvior, or anyone else's.
Take some time to build up a sense of personal power in this process. What are you really good at? Give yourself kudos. The main thing with all of this is to actually allow yourself to feel it all. Shed the shame, build the self worth & the rest will follow. It is hard work, & a long process that will not happen over night, yet it will last as you integrate maintaining these attitudes as a lifestyle. I have not had personal experience with Overeaters Anonymous, but 12 step programs can be a great support & have been shown to help a tremendous amount of people in recovering from addiction.
If you need help with the emotional regulation & realities of addiction, let me know & we can get you started on an acupuncture plan. There are protocols specific to addiction as well as points that curb appetite. I can get you on an herbal formula that curbs cravings and assists in melting shame and addiction recovery. The process of getting to know the subtleties of your own body can be extremely empowering as well as a worthwhile endeavor. It can really help in shifting your relationship with food, shame and your your body. And remember: the patriarchy wants women ashamed of their own bodies. The Church wants EVERYONE to be ashamed of our physicality. The personal IS political. Healing is a powerful way of fighting back. We heal our culture, one person at a time
May you be next.
